Hello RepLadies,
From ordering with TS Apple to Fisherman to Uncle Lin, I've finally pulled the trigger to shop on Taobao (and totally not because I was getting ready to move to California so saving money was very much a real thing). Now, this wasn't the first time I've seen this website. My mom used to frequent China (RIP traveling plans 2020) and would spend hours looking online and have it sitting nice and pretty once she landed. Anyways, long story short, I saw a post a few months that mentioned Taobao direct and I really wanted to try it out - TL;DR: tried taobao direct, failed horribly because I couldn't get Alipay to link. I went back on RL and did some reading on trusted sellers (ie. agents) for Taobao. This post will be heavily based on my experience with Basetao, in case you want to skip further down of the page. So without further ado, this was my journey!
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My Journey with BaseTao (feel free to skip):

I used BaseTao because I found out that we get a better rate [LINK] than the other agents
Price of items: 597 Yuan or $88 USD. Unfortunately, Basetao has their own exchange rate so it came to about $100 USD (or $134 CAD) to "recharge" my account.
Weight of package: 1.59kg -- Basetao rounded it up to 1.6kg
Payment method used: Visa/Debit via Paypal
- NOTE: The Paypal route is silly because you get charged a PayPal fee whereas the "VISA/DEBIT" route uses PayPal as if they're a merchant - ie. you were paying them directly without the extra fee! On top of that, it allows a tiny loophole where PayPal transfer only allows one account per country (ie. if you made a Canadian account, you can't change your country to USA). This is where it became a problem for me: Basetao needs the Paypal address to match your current address. I'm still paying out of my Canadian bank (ya'll, the CAD:USD rate is driving me up the walls) so the address doesn't match. TL;DR: I paid under the Visa/Debit tab because I don't want to pay $8 fee and bad conversion rate from CAD -> USD -> CNY.
Price of shipping and carrier: China Post SAL $28.28 USD (or $37.90CAD) + insurance ($1.60USD) + service fee ($2.50USD) = $32.65USD (or $43.75CAD).
Order timeline: (Please keep in mind the time difference from China - Western US)

Tuesday Sept 1st: Emailed Basetao about the VIP upgrade in the morning and got a reply in the evening that they have upgraded my VIP ranking.
Wednesday Sept 2nd: Submitted some form of ID to Basetao*^{more on this later} and got approved. Tried to top-up my fund and realized that Basetao has their own exchange rate so I had to have them cancel the Paypal transfer 🤪 Basetao got back to me by the evening with the transaction cancelled and then emailed me nicely to try again. WOW. I did and purchased all the good good!
Thursday Sept 3rd: The good good is now changed from "assigned" to "ordered".
Friday Sept 4th: Got a message on Basetao that one of my item is on backorder - messaged them back and said that I'll wait.
Saturday Sept 5th (12:30am because insomnia): Received an email that one of my package has arrived at the warehouse! Got PSP as well!
Friday Sept 18th: Finally got a message in the evening that my final item has arrived at the warehouse! Waited on the PSP before hitting the "ship" button.
Friday Sept 19th: I had to return an item as it was a bad batch. I'm very upset about it but I used the money to buy something else along with a million things in my cart. In case anyone was wondering: OFF WHITE Pink Global Warming Hoodie - 299 CNY (about $44USD or $58CAD) [PSP] | [W2C] | [Authentic] **I've posted the PSP to be QC'd on FashionReps and they basically told me to drop it like it's hot.
Tuesday Sept 23rd: Got my refund and ordered this instead! The wait begins!
Friday Sept 25th: Woke up to my item at the warehouse. PSP received at around 11am PST. WHAT?! Do they even sleep? Submitted to ship!
Monday Oct 19th: Missed delivery because they needed someone to sign for it. UGH
Tuesday Oct 20th: It is now in my hands!

I CHOSE TO REMOVE ALL BOXES TO REDUCE SHIPPING COST
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Common Project Achilles Low AKA "The Good 'ol RepLadies Starter Pack" - 298 CNY (about $44USD or $58CAD)

Photos:
[Your's truly] | [PSP] | [W2C] | [Authentic]
Ratings:
(Disclaimer: I will not knock off points due to it being a rep because I know what I'm purchasing)
** Quality 10/10 **
Positives + general comments:
The leather feels softer and way more malleable than the authentic. Like we're talking no blisters. I don't even think I'll have to break them in other than where my foot bends. There is not fufu smell.
** Satisfaction 9.5/10 **
I love it. It is everything I wanted without the hefty price tag! I would definitely buy another colour in the future. I think my Gucci Bee sneaker has competition. It also came with an extra pair of laces so that's always a win.
** Seller's Communication and Service 9.5/10**
Since I've used an agent, they did most of the chatting for me (if there were any). However, the website was relatively easy to use. It was really easy to know what colour you were getting.
But, BaseTao itself is going to get -0.5 because I think it wasn't packaged properly so the right shoe came extremely crooked that it doesn't lay flat. I am having it sit with a shoe tree in it at the moment. It is not noticeable when I have it on but it is extremely noticeable when I take it off.
** Accuracy 9/10 ***
Positives + general comments:
The print looks to be in the correct spot and there are no smudges. Since it's hard to tell with the right shoe, I am solely basing it off of the left shoe. I am not rating the dust bag since I won't be using it at all. The sizing is on point. I took a size 35 which still feels a little loose - which is really similar to how I am in most shoes.
Not so positive:

-0.5 Right shoe is all wonky which makes it calloutable when taken off
-0.25 toe box is a bit more round than the auth (but seems like this is a common problem with a lot of reps of this shoe)
-0.25 the back tabs where seems a little biggelower than the auth. Not sure if I'm just going crazy

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Polene Number One Nano - 298 CNY (about $44USD or $58CAD)

Photos:
[Your's truly] | [PSP] | [W2C] | [Authentic]
Ratings:
(Disclaimer: I will not knock off points due to it being a rep because I know what I'm purchasing)
** Quality 10/10 **
Positives + general comments:
Smells like leather, feels like leather with no fufu smell. It is AMAZING! It is soft and has the right amount of weight. The shoulder strap was wrapped really nicely. I don't even need to flatten it out! As well, all the buttons snap on and off really smoothly.
** Satisfaction 10/10 **
Straight up, this is basically what I was looking for. I might even get a black one! I opted for this colour in particular because of the pebbled leather. I felt that the smooth leather wouldn't look as nice.
** Seller's Communication and Service 10/10**
Since I've used an agent, they did most of the chatting for me (if there were any). However, the website was easy to use. I felt like the pictures they've used was a little hard to know what colour they are compared to the auth's website.
** Accuracy 8.25/10 **
Positives + general comments:
I specifically picked this one because 1) I don't think there are anyone in North America will know this brand well enough and 2) I can't see myself rocking this at the moment but believe me, I'm eyeing at Linda's group buy...
To be honest, I was worried at first because the PSP made the bag look lighter than the burgundy but darker than the cognac on the auth website. This is definitely a burgundy colour but the website shows that the burgundy colour doesn't come in pebbled leather. I also don't know how the auth looks like so I can't tell you if it is insanely accurate. But, basing it off of the website, it looks really good.
Not so positive:

-0.5 seems like the auth version of this colour doesn't come in pebbled leather, only smooth
-0.25 the little tick on top of the e on Polene looks a sus but I'm just being picky.
-0.5 the interior should be a similar colour (reddish) as pointed out by u/Bellamy15
-0.5 missing logo stamp on the interior leather as pointed out by u/Bellamy15

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Here's my mod shot trying to look hype. I'm about 5'1, narrow foot ranging from size 5 - 6 US. Typically wear XS/S in tops and jeans at around 25 with an athletic build (thicc thighs save lives).
I really enjoyed using Basetao. They were efficient in ordering + replying to my questions/comments on their website. It's not instant but honestly, they were faster than most people on email! I'll definitely continue to use Basetao. I've never had to wait longer than 24hours to get a reply. I'm glad my first experience with TB was through an agent because I was able to QC the item before the long haul from China to the US. Imagine how upset I would have been with my Off White hoodie! For this reason alone, I suggest first timers to use an agent until you know that the shop is reputable with tons of reviews.
If there's one thing I don't like about Basetao is that you have to "recharge" your account instead of paying exactly what you need to buy the items. It's a hassle especially if you're only missing a few CNY and now you have to pay the closest amount of USD and have leftover CNY.
Overall, I've enjoyed the experience and definitely can see how this is opening pandora's box! Thank you for reading my little blurb! As you might've caught on, I am now on American soil. This is the first time ordering rep to the US so there were a lot more additionally research RE: seizing goods. See you all again when I decide to dig deeper into TB!
**ID Proof to Basetao - I sent them a picture of my driver's license while blocking out most information such as: DOB, expiration date, signature, and home address. The only information I didn't block out was my name and my picture. I remember reading somewhere in this sub that people were concerned about data breach or storing info about you somewhere + selling it. I have 2 Google Home mini at home and you would think I could care less about this whole security thing; but, I decided to play it safe regardless.
edit: accuracy for Polene bag

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[Table] IAMA brain surgery survivor and I no longer feel fear because my right amygdala was removed along with 10% of my brain. (pt 1/2)

Source
The AMA ended with:

Alright that's it for me, I can't believe I just spent 4 hours answering questions haha

but was followed by another question:

This is interesting my wife is going to have the first surgery probes in her head on Monday she never thought to ask if they put one hole in and spread the wires out or multiple holes

One big hole

Questions	Answers
Have you seen the Mindfield episode on Vsauce about fear? There was a girl that had a damaged amygdala. She claimed that she couldn't feel fear, and so scientists did a bunch of tests with her to map out fear responses. What they found was that nothing phased her, until they got to suffocation. They simulated it by increasing her blood's CO2 levels to safely simulate suffocation without actually preventing her from breathing, and she became absolutely terrified despite being perfectly safe. They found out that the fear response from an increased level of CO2 (suffocation) is centered in the brain stem while everything else is in the amygdala. The whole Mindfield series on Vsauce is fascinating and worth watching, but when I read your post I instantly thought of that episode.	Ooh I will watch that! Thanks!
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Suffocate yourself and let us know what you think. Edit: please stop asking me for free nudes guys	Instructions unclear, experienced autoerotic asphyxiation and got the best orgasm of my life.
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Forget what the instructions were, can you just write down how you did it?	Step 1 get epilepsy
	step 2 get brain surgery,
	step 3 do what strangers on the internet tell you to
	step 4 Profit!
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Guy had a chunk of brain gouged out and still has more sense of humor than most people i've meet...	Thanks! People would never guess that I have brain damage.
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can you share your thoughts after?	I have some insight! For context, my seizures were not your typical convulsions, it was all fear and dread. The bigger seizures gave me bigger fears, and one was that I am about to die. Not like "one day" or "I am going to get killed by __" I just had this sense that I was going to die. One of my first seizures confused me. I thought "I am going to die" and I was like "oh yeah whatever it's just a dream" and then realized it wasn't a dream. In a panic, and I started thinking "How could I be about to die? There's no external threat."
	So I was quickly rationalizing which external threat was going to kill me. Carbon monoxide? Stroke? Heart attack? So I went outside, did the FAST stroke test, checked for signs of heart attack... and I texted my girlfriend "call 911 if I don't text you in 5 minutes, I don't know something just feels really wrong, might be carbon monoxide or something."
	So the idea that the right amygdala has to work to identify the external threat, whereas those CO2 neurons just provide fear via the brain-stem/midbrain is especially interesting to me.
	Second:
	It was useful to see that my hypothalamus is what generates adrenaline, and I still have that. I imagine that is why I'm still getting adrenaline in some situations. I am curious about the people with amygdalae doing better at the CO2 breathing experiment. However, I think what's unexplained there is why I can still voluntarily hold my breath just fine. Like my brain stem isn't forcing me to surface when diving under water (I like to snorkel).
	Third:
	I think they've missed something: If we're gonna play with injecting CO2, they should play with directly stimulating the amygdala. Electric shocks to the amygdala showed s
	Third: I am not tough enough to say "I'll fucking kill you" if a guy held a knife to my throat.
	I was walking through a really bad area a few months ago and 3 "tough-guy" type dudes tried to surround meme to "ask me something" but I just kept walking (as I've learned to do growing up in NYC). However, I didn't think I could beat them all up or anything and I did check to see if they were following me, and I decided to avoid that block on the way back. Funny thing is that I didn't feel "fear" I just thought "Oh well, I guess they're going to grab me and empty my pockets and steal my phone. I hope they don't hit me very much. What should I do/say?"
Do you feel the absence of fear is more of a benefit or hindrance in reaching the highest and best version of yourself? Does it make you more vulnerable to being cheated or tricked? Do you have to spend more time thinking over whether to act or not?	That's a tough one because many things have changed beyond just fear. I want to lean towards it being better because my day-to-day life is more pleasant without the fear of my inevitable death clouding my thoughts. However, I also am aware "ignorance is bliss" and so many more. I would much rather be fearless than have too much fear, but I think having some fear is healthy.
	Since you mention cheating, I will share that I was married when I developed epilepsy. We were on a two-month trip through Europe. I broke my ankle, so I suggested my wife continue to the trip and she did. She asked my permission to see an ex (whom I had met a couple weeks before) and I happily granted it, and well... she slept with him. I stand by that choice of mine being the "right" one, but I certainly was plenty trusting back then as well.
	Still, I think I am more easily abused in relationships now, but that's not "fear" as much as it is "harm avoidance" (another function of the right amygdala). Since surgery I've (unfortunately) been happier in an abusive but exciting and passionate relationship than in a simple romantic relationship. Pre-epilepsy I used to be quite indignant about the slightest mistreatment, but my first partner whom I met only a month after brain surgery was quite intensely abusive, and I begged and crawled for her to love me while trying to make it work for 2 years.
	However, what complicates things is that I also don't have the level of confidence that I used to have. I don't really know all of the reasons why, but I am less confident in both myself and my opinion than I used to be; Albeit I may have been a bit too confident in my opinion before.
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I don't want to stick my nose in your love life but I think you did nothing wrong. I consider trust in a relationship essential: it makes you vulnerable but at the same time paves the way for a deeper and happier connection.	Yes I agree it was the right choice, I was just illustrating that I both was and am very trusting
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I wonder if your heightened tolerance for abuse has something to do with your heightened empathy. I’m horribly empathic and I think it made me easier to manipulate emotionally.	Yes 100% I do
Do you find that you have think about things much more; because you can't use those biological warning signals?	Wow that's a thought-provoking question! Thank you, I had never considered that until now. The answer is kind of "yes" but it's more to say that I should think about some things more because I don't feel the warning signals. For example, last month I was hiking in Utah and I started to go somewhere really dangerous out of curiosity but started to slip and had to think for a minute before I decided I should turn around, and I very carefully backed down.
	However, I also choose to leverage my freedom from the more primitive biological signals and carpe diem, like when I went on a two month road trip with someone I had just met. I've been that "say yes" type for the most part ever since.
	Unfortunately, at first I was more likely to have blind faith in people because I hadn't really figured this out yet. Someone told me I was getting a good deal, so I just assumed I was because I didn't feel any red flags. Little did I know he was trying to scam me out of $2,000. Luckily I learned my lesson without losing the money thanks to a friend. I have to think a lot more about why I trust who I'm trusting now, and it's still weird.
	I'll continue to search within myself and my experiences to ask myself your question, thank you!
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tbh it sounds like a lot of people nowadays should be getting your surgery lol	Yeah actually people have volunteered to have part of their amygdala removed due to anxiety issues, although that's hard to do or even illegal in most places.
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I wouldn't mind doing this. Amygdala hijack has ruined so much for me. Edit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdala_hijack	Are you sure that you're not having a focal seizure?
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If people approach you randomly (ie initiate contact) in public, be wary of them trying to fleece you or convince you to take a detour. X10 if in a city or touristy area. Act like a New Yorker and tell them to fuck off.	I mean, I am a NYer lol born and raised in lower manhattan
I work with someone who had his entire (I think) amygdala removed. He is a very smart guy, but his tolerance for BS is very low. Have you noticed a lower threshold for frustration? Also, have other things been affected, like forming memories? When you think about a time when you were afraid in the past, what's that like? Can you remember the feeling?	1. My speech inhibition is lower, but that frustration level is complicated by medication. People with epilepsy are often prescribed a medication called "keppra" which induces something we call "kepprage" which sounds like what you're describing. I was more easily frustrated before surgery, while on Keppra, but I am (and have always been) a VERY VERY patient person.
	2. Yes, memories have been a big problem. I confuse the "who" and "when" of memories VERY often, and it's been problematic in the romantic world. A girl I was dating definitely didn't like it when I recalled doing a kinky sex act with her, when it was actually with someone else who looked like her.
	3. Yes I can remember the feeling, in fact I can feel it when I remember it strongly enough. I never thought about it that way, but it's especially easy to remember fear because the seizures themselves were all feelings of fear (and I had hundreds of them).
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Hey OP, I was just diagnosed with a generalized epilepsy so I now take Keppra. Glad to know of someone else who takes it, and makes me feel better that I'm not the only one having troubles with aggression on it. I also take Vyvance for ADD and it somehow seems to counteract the aggression somewhat. Thanks for the AMA, hopefully life improves now that your surgeries are done! I wanted to ask about your life with epilepsy? How long have you had it and how did you see your seizures change as time went on leading up to your surgeries?	Hey! Keppra side effects get better over time if you work hard at it, it took me about 1.5 years to figure it out. Try to notice yourself getting angry, and imagine yourself before taking keppra getting angry about this, and if you would get angry even before, how angry would you get? That helped me control the kepprage. I'm off Keppra now, and I don't really know that I've changed much other than improved memory.
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Thanks for the advice! I tell my wife and son to leave me alone for two hours once I take the pill, since that's when I become most vulnerable haha.	Also join epilepsy !
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Unprompted advice, so take it or leave it. I have memory issues caused by a neuromuscular disease. Solidifying episodic memories is a challenge for me. I've found that journaling helps. Each night I write down anything of interest that happened that day. Sometimes it's one sentence, sometimes a whole page, doesn't matter. It seems to make a slight difference in how well memories will "stick". Just an internet stranger's two cents. Thanks for the AMA, interesting stuff!	Thanks! Your advice made me realize that I don't find it problematic enough, at least not enough that journaling would be worth it. It only causes an issue less than once a month, so journaling everything for a month to hope that I wouldn't cause a problem would be a bit of overkill for me.
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Without journaling, how can you be sure it isn't problematic more often? Serious question.	Because my memory isn't that bad, and I mean problematic in that I caused a negative experience for myself or another person, which I certainly do remember quite well.
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Is the difficulty of who and when different for memories from before the surgery and after surgery?	Yes, MUCH worse after the surgery. It's truly embarrassing and the most problematic result of the surgery.
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wait did the seizures cause fear BEACUSE they were in the amygdala?	Yes
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That's weird, I'm on Keppra and have never heard of "kepprage". I have zero side effects, as far as I can tell.	I said that myself for the first year, and coming off of it I don't feel different.
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The aggression is exactly why we declined Keppra for our toddler’s absence seizures. She is the sweetest little thing and any increase in rage/angeaggression would just feel like we had a different kid.	As mentioned I am a very patient person, so I would say that I was uniquely suited for taking Keppra. I wouldn't suggest it for a toddler though, as strong behavioral changes could affect your relationship with her. I recommend Vimpat and Lamictal.
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Can you elaborated on your “seizures themselves bring feelings of fear”? What does that mean?	The seizures were not convulsive like you might think, they were small seizures originating near my hippocampus and activated my right amygdala kind of like a frightening experience would. The entire seizure was JUST feelings, mostly the feeling of fear.
Have you observed a change in your overall personality as a result of this? Do you find your decision making process to be different than before? Are you leaning to be more risk acceptant in matters of finance, professionally, and in speaking your mind (less inhibited?)	1. That is the hardest question I've tried to answer since forever. Like, I've certainly changed over the past 2 years since surgery and 4 years since being diagnosed with epilepsy, but like... how much of that is just growth from all of the experiences I've had? I'm more careful now, less arrogant, more emotionally available, more considerate and empathetic, more talkative, less confident, and all sorts of changes. I can only clearly say that the talkativeness and the fearlessness is clearly surgery-related.
	2. Yes, I find myself considering my choices for longer and depending less on my "gut" feelings on something.
	3. I'm actually quite risk-averse financially and professionally because I am in debt due to being unable to work for an entire year after diagnosis (was an Uber driver and in my final semester of college when I was diagnosed). Since I am conscious of my health risk, I want to carefully plan my finances so I can do things I love (like travel). Otherwise, I speak my mind more often and I'm certainly less inhibited, but I still refrain from being mean. The lower speech inhibition expresses itself in that I interact with strangers more often, and I tell dumb irrelevant stories more often.
Have you picked up any new hobbies since surgery that you may have been to scared to try in the past?	No, probably because I was actually quite the risk-taker before with skydiving and bungie jumping. I also was an amateur pilot and flew open-cockpit experimental airplanes.
	Interestingly, another person asked if I still get adrenaline rushes, and that made me realize that I actually have been doing those things less often since the surgery. I wonder if it is because of the lower adrenaline rush...
	Unfortunately many of the dangerous hobbies aren't safe for me to play with because of my epilepsy. I was a passionate amateur pilot and novice scuba diver, and I have chosen to give them up for the foreseeable future because of the chance my epilepsy may come back. There's a video of a guy who was 6+ years seizure free having a seizure while skydiving. Everyone called him an idiot, well... I get why he tried.
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Are you still allowed to pilot, after your surgeries?	Kinda, it's a gray area because its a dont ask dont tell for the very small ultralight airplanes
Do you feel lighter? How did post op recovery go? How long were you in ICU? Is there physical or mental therapy you're doing? What sorts of adjustments have you had to make? Have you binge watched anything good lately?	1. Hah, no, but I do "click" sometimes when going down stairs because my upper right temporal muscle is tangled with the titanium braces on my skull.
	2. Physically, it went well. I walked out of the ICU in 2 or 3 days. However, I was very sensitive and disturbed by loud noises and big crowds for the first month. I was also very introverted, and had a hard time keeping up conversation for the first two weeks. I continued to be bothered by loud noises (my former seizure trigger) for a year. Beyond that, I developed ADD and I'm now on Ritalin. However, no therapy was necessary.
	3. Funny you ask the last two questions together because one big difference is that I no longer watch TV. I find it uncomfortably boring to watch TV now, even though flashing lights was NEVER a trigger. I can play video games and watch the occasional movie, but the idea of watching (and not interacting) sounds EXTREMELY boring and unpleasant to me now.
	4. The biggest adjustment I had to make was to give up my life's passion of piloting. That's because of epilepsy, not the surgery. Otherwise I just don't drink alcohol to play it safe. MY doctors say "limit to one or two drinks" but I am just abstaining entirely because I used to get a mini-seizure (aka simple-partial or focal-aware seizure) before I had even finished a bottle of light beer.
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You said in an earlier comment you became more talkative as a result of the surgery, and you said you also take Ritalin now. I know my add medication makes me more talkative, so I wonder if that is from the surgery or the medication?	I'm actually mildly less talkative on Ritalin. I was WAY more talkative right after surgery, and I didn't start Ritalin until 2 years after surgery, so I am quite aware of the change :) Thanks tho!
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How did being talkative work with being introverted and not being able to hold conversations?	The severe introversion only lasted about a month after surgery, then I started dating haha
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Don’t worry. Pretty much all pilots in the making from 2018-2020 have now given up on their dreams of finding a job before 2030. You could probably still do your PPL and fly, but you will never be the PIC/fly alone.	Haha thanks, luckily I gave up the dream of commercial flying about 2 years before my seizure but I was actually building a kit plane when I was diagnosed. I had sunk over $50,000 into building the kit and learning to fly, and I'm selling it for under $30,000 :(
	I actually could continue to fly experimental aircraft with a sport license, but the thought of having a seizure-like sensation mid-air keeps me grounded for the foreseeable future.
	So I'm selling my kit. If you know anyone who wants a partially built experimental light sport Excalibur for $14k, let me know haha
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haha the tv thing is probably just the add. I have it and I think tv is not interesting at all even though i have all of my brain :)	Thanks for adding that! I suspected the ADD. It was weird how I used to watch a lot of "Let's Play" type videos on Youtube and now I can't bear watching them at all.
So do you have any adrenaline rush anymore? Like when you ride a roller coaster or take a corner fast on racetrack type rush?	Hmm, I hadn't really thought of it in terms of adrenaline before. I think, generally for those kinds of stimuli, no; At least not nearly as much as I used to if at all. However for anticipation of exciting things like a great first date, yeah, and I get the same or more adrenaline in romantic situations.
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you should really try some adrenaline rush activities. Even just going down hill on a bike or skate board. Id love to hear you describe a roller coaster ride or abseiling.	Yeah I think I gotta do a crazy roller coaster. I haven't done one since the surgery.
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For what it’s worth, I recently watched Free Solo and I think you’d find it very interesting. It’s a documentary about a guy who loves climbing huge rock cliffs with no safety equipment. It’s a very dangerous sport. During the movie he gets his brain scanned by some interested scientists and they find his amygdala is incredibly small. So basically, the conclusion is he has a really really hard time feeling fear, but the flip side is that means he also has a really hard time feeling the rush of excitement and thrill that comes with fear. Therefore, for him to feel any thrills in life he must do something very extreme and dangerous while the rest of us can get those thrills doing much safer activities, or we can often even get those thrills just watching others do things like in tv shows or movies. It sounds like you are now very similar to him in the not feeling fear department.	Yeah I actually heard of that movie but I didn't know the last part about thirsting for more extreme experiences. I've noticed that some of my excitement for flying has gone away, and I wondered if the surgery was related or if I was just coping with the loss.
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What about phobias? Spiders, snakes, clowns, heights etc any changes to what u used to be afraid of?	I didn't have any phobias
I didn’t need any part of my brain removed to be talkative AND have a horrible sense of direction. But enough about me. If removing those parts of your brain made almost no difference, how?, how much brain needs to be removed to make a definitive personality difference? Also, how much of your brain was removed % wise?	10% of my brain removed and, well... to answer your "how" question, the rest of my brain is very high-functioning and able to compensate. If you've got a bad memory, you can write things down and get organized. If you have a bad sense of direction, you can diligently focus on recognizing landmarks. My doctors needed to do a neuropsych exam before considering surgery. The exam measures the ability of each individual lobe of your brain. They rated my left hemisphere in the top 1/1000th, my right temporal lobe function before and after to be top 40%, and overall IQ both before and after the brain surgery to be 135. After the exam, they told me that I won't be experiencing much functional problems in the long run because my other lobes will quickly compensate.
	In addition, over the years of having seizures my brain automatically started re-wiring the functionality away from the epileptic parts. Thus, even though my right temporal lobe SHOULD be doing all the face-recognizing, my left temporal lobe is helping now as well.
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That is extremely interesting. 90% of the brain and still going strong. How many seizures did you get on a daily basis and when did they start? You mentioned you were an Uber driver, so I am thinking sudden onset?	I usually had "simple-partial" "focal-aware" seizures that consisted purely of emotional sensations of fear and regret that each lasted <20 seconds. I had 3 of those a day. I had only one larger seizure, a "complex partial" where I lost about 20 minutes of memory and was mostly incoherent for that entire time. That's how I got diagnosed.
	I was 26 when that big seizure happened, so it was somewhat of a sudden onset. Although for 6 months prior to that seizure, I now know in hindsight that I was already having those mini-seizures and thinking they were just anxiety.
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Hey if you're still answering I'd love to know, with the rest of the brain compensating will a different part eventually function to induce a fear response or are you done with that for good?	I don't know, I've asked doctors but I think it's more likely that what's happening now will just got worse. That is, my negative left-amygdala response will "replace" fear. That is, I will just feel some other feelings more strongly in order to avoid dangerous situations.
Do you still have seizures? How long did the surgery take? Were you awake?	I've been seizure free ever since! I was under full anesthesia for both surgeries, but I was awake for 7 days in between them so they could record my seizures. I had probes deep in my brain with wires coming out of my skull, and I wasn't allowed to walk because if I fell I might rip the probes through my brain. It wasn't fun, but I did get prescribed beer on the 6th day because alcohol can (and did) trigger a seizure.
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Can you drink alcohol now?	Theoretically I can, but I abstain out of an abundance of caution. I'm aware that there is a small chance that drinking alcohol would cause a seizure, and the longer I am seizure-free the higher chance that it doesn't come back.
	That is, if I had a beer and had a seizure, my chance of having a second seizure without a beer goes up higher than if I had never had a beer.
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Is it any amount of alcohol? Like can you have one beer? Or can you drink kombucha?	My doctors say that I could have one or two beers but I choose to abstain because it's not worth the risk to me and I've had a seizure from less than one beer before
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Did it tend to happen as the effects of the beer were kicking in, or when the effects were wearing off (due to the minor "withdrawal" and subsequent neuronal overstimulation)?	As the effects kicked in, like halfway into a beer
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This is not a fear of yours at all?	No. To explain, would you bet your LIFE that Donald Trump won't resign before November 3rd? If you win, you get to drink a beer, if you lose, you die.
	Are you afraid of that decision? Regardless of the likelihood, you can make a conscious decision of weighing risk vs reward without fear.
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Have your doctors recommended an amount of time to wait? Does having a beer today vs a year from now impact your likeliness of it causing a seizure?	There is no science on that question, which is why I abstain.
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You were awake 7 days between surgeries? Did you mistype that, or am I just dumb & missing something? I didn't think it was possible to be awake for that long. Is there like a drug they give you for that or what?	Sorry, I realize that it wasn't clear that I did sleep quite a bit despite the fact that I had a couple dozen probes inside my brain and the wires came out through my skull.
So I study the amygdala in the context of pain. I’m interested to know if you notice any differences in how you experience pain?	Oooh since you study it I'll give great detail. At first I wouldn't say that my pain reaction has changed, but upon deeply picking my brain I can come up with these thoughts:
	1. At the apex of my epilepsy, I broke my fibula while walking through snow. It was a C-fracture, complete separation, but I didn't feel much pain, and I'm not some sort of tough-guy. I could almost walk but it hurt quite a lot to put full weight on it. The EMT thought it couldn't be broken because of how little pain I was reporting.
	2. I think I react to slight physical pain a bit slower. When I got bit by a spider a year and a half ago I kind of looked at it curiously to figure out what hurt, whereas before surgery I probably would have wiggled my hand a bit like one does if accidentally touching something that is too hot.
	3. I am prone to migraines, rarely, and they are still just as unpleasant and my reaction is unchanged.
	Ultimately, after remembering #2 above, I realize that I do react slower and less expressively to the few pains I've experienced, and I am somewhat better at ignoring pain.
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Oh interesting! Thanks so much for sharing! It seems the amygdala, and especially the right amygdala, is important for pain but also the ‘unpleasantness’ that goes along with pain. It’s so cool to hear experiences from real people about this.	I think that is in line with my experience with physical pain since surgery. However, FWIW, I still am indignant about not wanting other people to cause me pain or scolding them for doing so.
	Probably unrelated and TMI, but I do like a really hard (like as hard as a girl can) scratch on the head and back though. It doesn't hurt, even if I get a scrape, until it gets really raw and starts bleeding.
Fascinating, thanks. I'm super interested in changes to your political stance, in relation to a potential link between active amygdalae and conservatism. Have you found you're relating better to anyone as a result of the surgery?	Haha I see you've read the same articles on politics as I have! I went in a Sanders supporter who voted Hillary in 2016, came out a Sanders supporter who will vote Biden in 2020. My Anterior Cingulate Cortex is unchanged, and so I am still very focused on error-avoidance and thus very politically correct.
	However, you're 100% on the money with #2. I'm expressing and even experiencing my emotions FAR FAR FAR more than I was before. I have always been especially sensitive and somewhat feminine for a cis-hetero male, but now I'm way more empathetic than I was before. I used to be a very logic-focused person, and I still am, but now I value emotions and feel empathy for people like NEVER before.
	One last tidbit on politics: I grew up with liberal parents in NYC. In my high school years I was a bit of a classic white male liberal-libertarian of sorts, but always considered myself a democrat. However, education and exposure to diversity of thought brought me left far before brain surgery. I'm not in lock-step with every bit of the far-left agenda, but I am certainly firmly on the left in the USA.
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Amazing, thank you! I've noticed very gradual changes in myself, but I can't fathom waking up as a noticeably more empathetic person, that must have been an intense first day! And while I didn't mention politics to make value judgments, you sound like a great dude and I'm glad the surgery went well :)	Haha thanks! Hearing you use the term "Value judgments" I wonder if you know of nonviolent communication, authentic relating, or circling?
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Hey I'm asking the questions here! Nonviolent communication is the closest thing I have to a martial art, but authentic relating and circling aren't terms I've heard in this context. You have got me googling though, much appreciated. Any recommendations on sources?	haha nice, you should check out https://www.authrev.org/ AR is a practice, and the events invite people who seek deep interpersonal/emotional connection. I find that it's like Yoga for your EQ, and the self-selecting crowd is delightful and I imagine you'll fit in well.
	There are a bunch of free and cheap online Authetic Relating (AR) events being held right now, and once COVID's in the past I recommend going to an AR game-night. It's
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That’s so interesting! It makes sense that fear leans itself into responses to distrust and dislike things that we don’t know much about. I’m curious if your increased empathy is because you don’t get that immediate fear response that perhaps we were born with to protect ourselves. It’s so sad how much fear is used to fuel hateful ideologies.	Yes, greatly increased empathy Edit: I realize I misread your comment. Not sure can say my empathy feels clearly relates to fear, probably more related to lowered disgust feelings about people
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Comment deleted by user	Did I offend you? Should I have used different words so as not to bother you? Does saying cis-hetero male bother you more or less than saying trans-male or homosexual? If so, why?
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It’s not offensive at all. I just think the fact that you are a straight male isn’t even relevant. I suppose if you were trying to make a statement that things for you changed gender wise, that would be one thing. But should I say I’m cis-hetero female when describing myself? I think it’s over board. And, well, science. You are born male or female. It just doesn’t seem necessary for everyone to to put labels on EVERYTHING.	Im glad you weren't offended. I think it's up to you to include what you feel is relevant, but when describing myself as feminine I figured my gender and orientation was useful. Perhaps TMI though, not sure.
	I included cis because there are more people born intersex (neither male nor female) than there are redheads. Usually their genitalia are surgically "corrected" though, to fit the binary gender norm. I imagine a person born XXY or with androgen insensitivity syndrome might not be comfortable with the idea that "everyone" is born male or female and might prefer to identify with their born gender. Would that be wrong?
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And I did not mean to offend you by all means. I am a very progressive female nurse. I misread the part about describing yourself as feminine so I apologize. Not TMI at all. I guess I wish we didn’t have to describe things in such detail... I wish we we could all be excepting of everyone with no explanation. I had no idea of those stats. It is interesting to me because I know many more redheads than intersex individuals but perhaps because it’s not discussed openly... wouldn’t it be nice to just accept people for who they are with no discussion and labeling! The Romans had it right (in some ways, haha)	I agree with you. In fact, I was born XY male but I was given a very feminine name. I had something like gender dysphoria in my early teens because I was bullied for being "gay" even though I wasn't, and everyone would ask me "are you a boy or a girl?" because of how gentle and soft-spoken I was. I was just too feminine to be a man, apparently.
	I still get assigned "female" today because of my first name, until they hear my baritone voice or see me. Therefore I feel empathy for people who don't identify their gender-behavior with their genitals. I agree believe that your genitals should not determine how you can dress and how you can behave.
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Comment removed by moderator	ICEBURN!!!1111one
Are you any good at video games? I think streaming yourself playing horror games would attract quite the audience, and it goes well with your new found talkativeness.	Haha interesting, never thought of that. I gotta pick up Dark Descent again.
Have you been in any dangerous situations that you likely would have avoided pre-surgery? This was one of the main concerns regarding this surgery mentioned to my class by a prof in undergrad.	Not really, but only because I was a risk-taking person before. I was scared of my inevitable death but I still went skydiving and went on some crazy adventures. I definitely found myself doing stupid things when hiking, like going off-trail a little too far and ending up somewhere dangerous. I was briefly less avoidant of bad neighborhoods, although I almost got mugged once so I am back to being smart.
	I have tested my fear here and there, like looking over the edge of cliffs or putting my hand close to a fire, but I honestly can't think of something dangerous that I want to do. Fear just isn't in the equation.
Is this is your superhero origin story?	Maybe! And if the villain shoots me above my right eye and it goes through my head, it won't hit any of my brain, so I'll live, and that's how I'm invincible.
Since part of your right temporal lobe was removed, do you “fear” that you may one day be unable to recognize friends or family without other cues?	It actually has gone and will continue to go the other way! It's called "neuroplasticity" and the left temporal lobe will actually start helping or taking over the job of recognizing faces!
	The facial-recognition issue was always mild. At worst I needed about 1 second longer to recognize a face than is normal, and it was unsettling, but it's gotten better over time. I still a bit longer to differentiate similar-looking people whom I don't know, but it's not problematic in my life.
	The bigger problem has been remembering who I did something with. Like "did I tell you this already?" or "did you do ___ with me?" has come out of my mouth far too many times.
Have you noticed a decrease in intelligence or problem solving ability?	My IQ was measured by a neuropsychological exam before and after, and my IQ was actually unchanged! The only issue is memory and focus, which has been compensated for with note-writing and ritalin.
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That actually makes a lot of sense, especially with you mentioning a previous comments that you're a lot more talkative, and your filter is down. These are all side effects of stimulants, and a lot of your behavior changes I myself have had, but without the whole getting 10% of your brain removed I recommend switching to vyanse instead of Ritalin / Adderall. With Ritalin, you 100% know that you are on a stimulant, everything just feels different. If your body was a car, You would feel the acceleration, engine rev up, and bumps in the road. With vyanse, it's a lot more subtle. Like driving an electric car where you don't actively feel like you are "revving up", just notice the positive side effects	Thanks, but I became more talkative almost immediately after surgery, Started ritalin 2 years in and it helps with the talkativeness
Why don't you still feel fear to some extent, since your left amygdala is still intact?	The left amygdala handles negative stimuli differently, and it's clear that I'm using it to process these stimuli because I'm having a typical thoughtful response where I appreciate the context and make a decision instead of having a reptilian "DO NOT WANT" fear response.
how much are your medical bills?	I chose an insurance plan with a high deductible but low out-of-pocket maximum and thus I pay about $3,000 a year total. I usually hit out-of-pocket maximum by April. The biggest cost was the year of unemployment following my diagnosis as I was an Uber driver to support myself through college. I got my degree though, and my job gave me 6 months of paid disability leave for my brain surgery.
Did you still feel like you are "you" shortly after your surgery? I always find the persistence of the self in the face of change to be fascinating.	Well I did about 2100 words of writing on that (follow part 0 through 5) https://www.evernote.com/pub/iagospeare/breakthrough Short answer, "there is no spoon"

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